One of the trickiest aspects of living is coping with the various stages of life. Making transitions from one emotional place to another.
Not all of life's stages are welcomed with open arms some are forced upon us, some we might have sought only to find that the transition process is a lot more difficult than we ever envisioned.
A woman transitioning from essentially free to essentially owned may face numerous hurdles, external and internal, during her period of change. There is no way for, us, the rest of the world to guess at what point in the process any individual is. This sometime painful journey is made alone. Ostensibly, a woman is expected to behave as a slave soon as she claims to be one, she may barely have got her head round the idea that the playing field, for her is no longer level. There may well be deep rooted aspects of her personality that remain very headstrong and to all intents and purposes similar to those of a Free Woman. Her transition, like that of many other life changing events, grief or child birth, will move her emotionally through various and often contradictory states of mind. Anger and frustration are not uncommon nor are joy and a desire to proselytise.
It is often as painful and as difficult for free women as it is for slaves to transition from a standard concept of what it is to be female in the 21st century. Often it is the personal aspects, the intimate relationships, that suffer as she too tries to work her way through her understanding of who and what she is. There is no set schedule for either to make adjustments. Neither status has the monopoly on confidence or all the answers to how the process works. Surrendering anything is a difficult process for many women, however much they wish it was easy. But since when was anything easy worth having?
Everyone; male, female, slave, free woman has the potential to succeed in their goal of becoming that which they understand to be their best self, equally everyone has the potential to self destruct. Frustration, a lack of boundaries, unclear rules and sheer panic and a sense of isolation can fester. In transitioning away from a blame culture to an accountability culture many are going to find that it is just too painful, too 24/7. The society that created profligate consumerism has encouraged us to believe we can have it all and have it now and if we don't get it right now someone else is with-holding it from us. Real life though is far from an instant fix.
Maybe some that try won't survive the crucible of transition, yet may very well go onto be perfectly healthy happy members of a different community. One size does not after all, fit all.
So maybe the next time we see a girl in conflict with herself we can remember our own painful transitions. Maybe the next time a girl sees what appears to be a firm application of a rule, she might ask if she is really watching a rope being tossed to a panicking figure in danger of drowning.
Then again maybe a duck is a duck is a duck.
I wish you well and manageable transitions
© 2008 Nienna Sura
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