Gorean Living User Forums • View topic - Passive Aggressive Assignment

First word to define was aggressive. For me I felt I already knew the definition to this word, and when I looked it up, I found I was pretty much head on. It means to be inclined to behave in an actively hostile fashion. For me I felt this was interesting, as I know when I am acting up that is exactly where I go when I get angry. Or at least when I'm outwardly angry and choosing to show it. Since I don't always show it. I have a tendency to leap out and start yelling and screaming when I am just pushed to my edge. But also, it is not a good thing. It shows a lack of self-control, at least for myself as a slave.

Next to look at was passive. By the definition of the dictionary it is to submit or accept without resistance or objection. This in itself is not always a good thing although for a slave it can sound like it is. To be passive in anything can be dangerous. One of my tasks as a slave is to submit and accept the will of my Owners of course. But my life is also very important; this is real life, not a planet of Gor. And one of my biggest responsibilities is to protect my Owners' property. I need to know when to be submissive and to whom it is and is not appropriate. It is just not safe to drop to my knees and obey absolutely anybody that wants me to. To compare it with aggressive, the difference is pretty obvious. In a sense they are direct opposites.

The third word I was given, was passive-aggressive. This one kind of shocked me, as I had never realized what its actual meaning was. But as soon as I read it, I knew it defined me to an exact point in so many areas. By the actual definition, it is behavior marked by the expressive of negative feelings, resentment, and aggressions through an unassertive means. These are thing such as procrastination, stubbornness, and an unwillingness to communicate. These are all things I do all the time. It is different from actual aggression by not being very obvious or hostile. This tends to be subtler. But it is also different from passive in that, it is showing objection such as not doing things exactly as told, stalling...things not generally expected of a passive person.

Lastly we had the word assertive. By definition it is the inclination to be bold or having a confident assertion. Strangely enough it also showed as being aggressively self-assured. That last part kind of startled me and led me to thought for quite a while. I found it to be different though from general aggressive, as that although it would show confidence it is not so much 'in your face' type of attitude. You can be assertive without being aggressive, if you think about your actions and behavior before speaking. It is also different from passive, in that an assertive person will not blindly go about submitting to the will of every person who comes along. They will choose, and with care who they allow to have power over them. They protect themselves. Slaves, I can easily see from this...MUST have assertiveness. We are a treasured possession, and if we do not take care of ourselves when not in our Owner's presence, we could be hurt, or even worse...killed. We are trusted to protect their property, and so through a show of respectful assertiveness, this is possible.

I found through looking at each, aggressive is not a good idea, as it can create many enemies and does not always tend to show respect. Passive is definitely not a good idea as it can bring about danger very easily. Passive aggressive is also not a good idea, as it does not show respect in any form, but instead subtle yet strong rebellion. That is just not ever appropriate in a slave, let alone a person in general. I have come to feel that Assertiveness is the best way because it shows the best of respect to everybody involved, as well as protects me through any situation.

The next requirement was to find a situation in which to demonstrate these behaviors. I can think of one in particular that would work well. It could be, where I am angry and in the presence of somebody other than my own Owner. The person tells me to kneel and I don't feel it is neither appropriate nor safe to kneel to that person. To be aggressive I could sass off saying "who do you think you are, I don't have to do anything you say, so shut up and leave me alone". To be passive, I could just throw my inhibitions aside and drop to my knees just cause I was told to. Being passive-aggressive I could glare angrily at the person, and wait for a few moments to kneel, then doing so I don’t assume the right position but instead look sloppy. But to be assertive, I could say, "I am sorry Sir/Ma'am, but I would first need my Owner's permission before such interactions with you. If you like you may speak to them to resolve any problems that may arise. Thank you Sir/Ma'am for understanding."

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