From FetLife
This big boo hoo baby posted a link in a group with a rule prohibiting links not approved by the group owner, got a 7 day ban (a VERY light "sentence"), and then chose to barge into my inbox to bitch about it. And then bitch some more, chew me out for not rebelling against the group owner's "WRONG" rule and not doing my job as a mod, and then double down on the bitchfest. I'll call him "Sir Whines All The Time Yo", or, "Swatty", for short
(My commentary like this)
Commentary = stuff I added for you, the readers, rather than part of the original message exchange.
Swatty
58M Dom
You've been given a timeout from "[Group Name]".
Rule
NO LINKS!
[expanded rule which could ID group]
I was just informed that I was given 7 day timeout for allegedly posting some kind of link. I posted only once and did NOT post any links in your group. If you go to the group administration you can actually see the deleted post and see for yourself that no link was used.
KhaosWolfKat
50F Evolving
Greetings Sir,
This is the post in question. There is, in fact, a link at the bottom of the post.
The group owner has been VERY clear with me that there are to be no exceptions to this rule, and his word is law for the group.
After the 7 days, you are welcome to repost without the link, Sir.
[paste of his deleted post]
Swatty
58M Dom
So I did, I remain corrected.
and his word is law for the group
Even when he is wrong?
>> [paste of owner's reasoning for rule, including worries of malware and phishing]
Your "law" is wrong. FL has many filters to prevent getting hacked by members posting links here. Many groups, including politics oriented groups of mine, actually require links to support person's views. Absolutely no harm done to FL. Your lord and master of universe here is plainly ... wrong.
KhaosWolfKat
50F Evolving
Yes Sir. Even when he is wrong.
I understand your reasoning and am aware that the odds of malware via links here are exceedingly low, but I am not the one who makes the rules, nor am I able to change them. I am simply a Mod, charged with enforcing his rules according to his will.
I have already offered [Group Owner's name] Sir my input on the subject, and his mind remained unchanged.
If you would like to attempt to sway his stance on this rule, you are, of course, free to do so, Sir. Perhaps you will succeed where I failed.
Swatty
58M Dom
He is right even when he is wrong. I get it
Very commendable attitude in a "mod." My own "mods" are argumentative and would not let me lording over them.
Just what made your "owner" a sheriff of FL? How was it possible for FL to function without him? Will FL survive without him? - lol
For whatever reason he blocked me. Lucky you to have me as your "customer." Is this his way to deal with people he suspends/bans. Very brave of him - he he.
Anyway, no big deal. I will survive (I think
Thank you for being a good sport and for your time. Much appreciated. Be well
KhaosWolfKat
50F Evolving
>> He is right even when he is wrong. I get it
No Sir. I did not say he is right when he is wrong. I said that his word in his group is law, and that his rules will be enforced even if he is wrong - meaning wrong in his reason for the rule(s).
That is true of ALL groups here on FL. The group owner has complete say over their rules, as long as nothing is against the FetLife TOU.
>> Very commendable attitude in a "mod." My own "mods" are argumentative and would not let me lording over them.
(Somehow, I doubt someone who throws this big a tantrum over getting a short ban for breaking a rule would ever tolerate his own rules not being enforced.)
If you allow your mods take it upon themselves to decide whether or not they will follow or enforce your rules in your groups, Sir, that is your business and your right. I certainly do not allow that in any of my groups. Mods either do their jobs as per the owner's wishes, or they aren't mods anymore. That's true of every group I have seen so far.
>> Just what made your "owner" a sheriff of FL?
He is not my owner, Sir, nor any self appointed "sheriff" of FL. He is the owner of HIS group. That means he has complete say over what happens in his group. Again, ALL group owners on FL have that same authority.
I don't know if/why he blocked you. That is none of my business.
(...but I can guess!)
Swatty
58M Dom
He is considered by FL an "owner" of the group. I didn't mean he is your owner personally but via his group.
BTW, I don't believe in your group's premise for women to be a "property." In this day and age there aren't any human "properties". Or at least there shouldn't be any. In this 21st century of ours women are no longer a property of anyone and have the same rights as men. No human is, or should, be a property of another human.
Women are not less or more important; no less or more intelligent, and are not subordinate to males just because they are females. In my already long life I have met many brilliant women. Yes, even more brilliant than me
(Yup - Everyone should be TOTALLY free to do what they like, unless it conflicts with your own ideas of what is OK.)
You support his rule even though you know he is wrong. This makes him right even when you know he is wrong.
(No, dumbass. It makes me capable of separating my feelings from my duties, and understanding that I don't have to agree 100% with someone in order to support them.)
People providing links has zero to do with FL getting hacked or individual accounts getting hacked. Obviously your "owner" (again, your group's "owner") doesn't understand how malicious software works and how networks and websites protect themselves against them.
In today's military, where discipline is at is highest, the "ordinary" soldier has a right to disagree and disobey orders he/she believes to be unlawful.
(And having a rule dude does not like is ABSOLUTELY unlawful, obviously!)
As "owner" of 6 groups I establish the rules but not everything is spelled out in a minute detail. This is where my "mods" have their discretion. But they are not afraid to tell me when I am wrong. Many times I took their suggestion to have the rules amended. In my groups About & Rules are work in progress and get amended from time to time.
Your "owner" may not believe in progressive discipline but to jump to 7 days from the get go over really very minor infraction is excessive.
(ZOMG! An entire WEEK of not being able to post in ONE group you allegedly don't like anyway. **SOOO** excessive! Most infractions get at least a month the first time, and perm if it happens again. Some are insta perm. Also, I'm the one who gave his dumb ass the ban - not the owner, and now it's going to be permanent instead of 7 days, in light of his asshattery and arguing with a mod.)
I can only speculate as to why your "owner" blocked me but my speculation as to why is not very kind to him. Suffice to say I am not impressed with him and your group. The words "control freak" and "egomaniac" come to my mind. And those are few diplomatic words that crossed my mind.
(I can speculate too. My speculation is that dude probably went whining to him first and got blocked when he wouldn't STFU with his endless whinging)
By accident I stumbled on your group and one particular thread caught my attention. This is one and only reason I joined the group. After reading the group rules, some are border line bizarre, I decided to simply walk away.
("Simply walk away" ... I do not think it means what you think it means...)
So getting blocked, suspended, banned doesn't bother me much. I do not intend to go back there. Will you survive without me? he he
(Nope. Doesn't bother him in the least. Everyone who is completely unbothered sends this sort of diatribe over a simple no links rule and a one week timeout. Sure dude.)
And this ends our exchange. Thank your for your time. Have fun and enjoy FL.
KhaosWolfKat
50F Evolving
Yeah. That doesn't end the exchange. Not quite. I tried to be reasonable and polite, rather than simply ignoring you or completely shooting you down for wasting my time, but you decided to twist my words as part of your quest to make a huge deal out of your own failure to read and follow the rules, and chew me out for my supposed culpability for YOUR issue. So I have something to say about that.
First off, once again, it's not my group. I'm a moderator, selected and delegated by the group owner to enforce the rules and help things run smoothly. I do my job. I enforce ALL the rules because it is my job. I think the link one is dumb, but am not ethically opposed to it, as it does not harm anyone. And yes, I DO support the group owner in running HIS, because it is a good group, and one of the VERY few MD/fs groups that doesn't cater to the incel/entitled crowd who think all women should be forced to obey all men by law, cause they are unable to actually inspire submission on their own merit, and want to blame women for their own shortcomings. Are some of his rules a little silly? Yeah. But they aren't really THAT difficult for reasonable people to follow.
You seem to think I should simply disregard the OWNER'S direct instructions in my mod duties simply because you don't like his rules.
That says a lot about your character.
It doesn't matter how I feel about the rules. I agreed to uphold them and I honour my agreements. If there were ever any that I think are legit unethical, rather than just silly, and he refused to change them for whatever reason, I would step down as mod. Otherwise, I will do the right thing and apply the rules equally and fairly, to everyone.
You broke a rule and got a one week ban. Big deal. If you disagree with the entire premise of the group (and apparently don't think anyone should have the right to make their own choice as to whether they will enter into an Owner/property dynamic with another person), and don't want to be in the group anyway, why are you getting all pissy about getting a ban at all. Let alone a paltry ONE WEEK ban. If you don't like a group's rules, just leave. Don't message the mods bitching about how wrong the rules are. ESPECIALLY a mod who doesn't have the authority to change it anyway.
This is meant to be a site for ADULTS, not 12 year olds. Good gods.
NOW you can consider the exchange ended. Or you can come back with some more petty bitching and whining. I don't really care either way.
Good day.
(I'll update if the idiot responds again.)