What Do I get out of slavery?
I am often asked, "What do you get out of being a slave?"
Many people assume that there must be some sort of trade-off… That I "get" something in exchange for the "sacrifice" of being a slave.
When people learn that no, my Owner does not provide me with greater financial security than I achieve on my own, a place to stay (He moved in with Me, actually) or any other material or emotional "rewards" in "exchange" for my slavery, and that my Owner/Master would still happily be my Significant Other, should I no longer wish to be a slave, they tend to become very confused.
They want to know, Why, then do I choose to subjugate my will to that of another, if I get nothing tangible in return.
The answer is really quite clear, to me at least.
The slavery is the reward in and of itself.
I have, within myself, a desire to serve. I do not know why this is or where it comes from, but it is there. I feel that urge very deeply, at times so much so as to be frightening. When I am kneeling at the feet of my Master, or serving him, be it a drink, a meal, or just carrying out some task he has given me, I feel fulfilled in a way that is without comparison. His collar around my neck, the brand on my thigh and the slave bells on my ankle that jingle with nearly every movement I make are constant reminders to me that I am a slave; And these things, rather than demeaning or debasing me, give me a feeling of security that comes of knowing, fully, one's position.
This is not to say that I am in any way less human, or that I am not a whole person in my own right. I am, in fact, a very strong woman. I am independent and competent. I am an individual with my own desires, likes, dislikes dreams, goals and opinions, not the "doormat" type of person so many visualize when they hear the word, "slave". I wish to be pleasing to my Master because it pleases me!
True, some aspects of slavery, I do not enjoy in themselves. There are some tasks or assignments that I may dislike immensely, some rules that I consistently find it difficult to adhere to and certainly a few things that my Master delights in doing to me that I simply detest. Without those things, however, the Master/slave dynamic would not be there and I would feel the lack and suffer for it.
I suppose there may be different reasons a person chooses to offer him/herself as a slave. I think at least one of the reasons that I find it so enjoyable is that it is a refreshing change from having to be in charge so much of the time in other areas of my life; On the job, in my volunteer work, in certain social settings and as a parent. That is a Lot of being "the boss"! Beyond that, I honestly don't know where the drive to better myself as a slave comes from.
What I do know is that it is a deep-seated and passionate longing to strive toward the goal of being the "perfect slave", so that just as falling short of my Owner's or my expectations causes me to feel remorseful, carrying out my orders or expected tasks well and in a pleasing manner is very gratifying for me.
John Norman described it in his books as having a "slave heart".
The bottom line, I suppose, is this: What I "get" out of my slavery is the fulfillment of my desire to serve, strong feelings of satisfaction and accomplishment when I do it well.
© Khaos WolfKat 2003
to respond to or discuss this writing.