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What the Collar Means to Me

09-13-03

This is something that I have thought much on. These days, in many circles, collars are worn simply as fashion statements or sometimes to signify a sub (as opposed to slave). They are often used within BDSM to signal when one is "in scene", or temporarily collared to someone (as for a contract with a specific term). All these uses, I feel, are perfectly valid, but it DOES make it difficult at times for people to understand that some folks, including myself, take a collar far more seriously than any of that.

The collar that I wear, in and of itself, is simply a symbol of my Master's ownership of me. Then again, a wedding band is also only a symbol. The collar proclaims that I am owned and who my owner is to all who understand its significance. It is also a constant reminder to me, as is the brand on my thigh and the slave bells on my ankle, that I am a slave girl, and property of my Master. The collar is, in many ways to me, like a security blanket, assuring me that I am still worthy of his collar. That whatever my faults, he still feels me worthy of further training to remedy those faults rather than simply tiring of me and releasing me. I do not and possibly never will understand "online collars" or "Velcro collars" (as a certain Master so very aptly put it recently on a mailing list). To me, they devalue what it is to be a slave.
I cannot simply leave a chat room. I cannot pretend my computer crashed in order to leave a sticky situation. I cannot change my "nick" and hide. I am accountable to my Master all the time, every day, no matter how I feel on a given day. My duties as a slave are real, as are my punishments, when needed.
True, if I am sick or in more pain than usual from old injuries, he will take that into account. He is not stupid or cruel. He has no desire to damage his property and he prefers that I am happy, though he will NOT allow me to manipulate him. He will put up with no BS from anyone, least of all me. I am at his beck and call and, at his mercy. If it pleases him to do something or have me do something that I hate, that is just too bad. There is no "brb" or "afk". I am his. He is in the next room right now, where if he calls, I must stop typing and see to his bidding. My "serves" are not flowery words on a screen. They are real and must be pleasing and efficient. My brand signifies that I must serve. My collar signifies who it is that I serve. That collar is held in the highest regard by my Master and myself.
I do not have a "collar" that consists of "{---}".
I wear my master's collar. It is locked about my neck. He holds the key. I can not remove it without destroying it and thus, in my opinion, destroying all that it signifies.

That said, it is my feeling then, that begging a collar or collaring a girl is something that should be taken quite seriously and given much thought beforehand. To me, it is as real and binding as a marriage and should be treated as such. If you would consider marriage after 2 weeks of talking to someone online then, by all means, beg or place steel. Then again, if that be the case, I would seriously wonder about the judgment of the individuals involved.

Khaos WolfKat 2003

 

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